The Will Rhodes Portmanteau

Gordon Brown has revealed that he wants to set up a civil defence network - people to help out in the event of a natural disaster or an atom bomb attack, well something like that anyway. They will be much like the guys who helped out during the blitz.

For example, it said the highest threat currently faced is an influenza-type pandemic which the Government believes could kill up to 750,000 people in the UK.

How much will the flu jabs cost? Wouldn’t it be better to let everyone have a free jab at the onset of winter? 750,000 dead - I wouldn’t want to be around while that happened - will the new wardens be fitted out with full bio-suits?

The latest document set out moves by ministers to deal with a wide range of threats, including terrorism, nuclear attack, natural disasters such as extreme weather and flooding, international crime and cyber attacks.

Cyber attack!? Hold on a second! I thought that the government had said the detail we give them would be secure and couldn’t be got at because you are protected by Norton or some other firewall. That’s the death knell of the ID cards! YAY! Victory!

And just what kind of cyber attack do they envisage? What would these wardens do - they can’t exactly jump inside a PC and fight off the doom virus now can they? Those bio-suits must be good.

People would volunteer to join their local civil protection network, run by town halls.

Uh oh! Local councillor John Smyth will be in charge - that doesn’t bode well at all, Captain Mainwearing come to mind?

The new risk register will be updated annually and may be available online.

Well - it can’t really be online because of all the NuARPs running around in cyberspace fighting off the cyber attack!

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